its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
