i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
