come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
