my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You can't motorboat a personality
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
