Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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