Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We had to coat check the pizza.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
