Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
