I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
