This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Acid is not a monday night drug
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I will pee on everything he values.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
