White coat. Heels.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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