I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
