He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize