man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
