Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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