people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Randomize
