I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
