bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
