If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
