Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
