a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
