He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
