I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
