the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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