Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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