guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
