Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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