You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
