why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
