I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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