the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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