Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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