I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
