how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
