Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
