I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
even my farts smell like vagina
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
