There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
