Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
True strength comes from lack of pants
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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