We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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