WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
