is your mom at the bar?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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