how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
