i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
