We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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