you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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