His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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