Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
