i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Come see our sink grown plant.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
