Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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