So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
