he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
