Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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