Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
