Well apparently he's into motor boating.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
