If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
