walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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