i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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