There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
