I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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