this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Randomize
