I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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