Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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