I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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